“Stoked” is an adjective, surfer slang that grew popular enough to make its way into the dictionary. Merriam-Webster defines it as “being in an enthusiastic or exhilarated state.”
Surfers are stoked, for example, when the sun is shining and the waves are just right.
How many days do you wake up excited for life, stoked to be alive and take on the day’s challenges?
If your answer is “often,” then congratulations! That’s an amazing way to live life—but you’re in the minority.
Most people are unenthusiastic about their lives, not looking forward to what the day has in store. That’s not a bad thing—if that’s how you’re feeling, it’s just how you’re feeling. There isn’t a “right” way to be.
Being Stoked About Life
What would it be like if you felt more excited by life each day? Or by what you were taking on at work, in your relationships, in your workouts?Life is incredible, and we are immensely privileged to be alive in this miraculous world. We don’t always appreciate it—and it’s probably impossible to always be grateful or excited—but there is the possibility of feeling more awe and wonder in our days.
Let’s say you wake up and you have a bunch of work to do (in addition to other things going on in your life). You could feel burdened, overwhelmed, and anxious about all of it ... or you could feel really excited by the meaningful things you’re taking on. It’s not that one approach is right and the other is wrong, but they are entirely different approaches and experiences. We have a choice.
What Gets in the Way
All of that sounds good, but there are things that get in the way of living life this way:- A personal default of not being enthusiastic about life. This comes from years of having our enthusiasm dampened, from feeling disappointment over and over, from learning to be jaded.
- A sense of pointlessness that comes when we feel like we’ve failed at things over and over, or that people have let us down over and over.
- Built-up pain from things that have hurt us, to the point at which little things can agitate the wounds in our hearts, easily causing frustration, anger, and explosions of outrage.
- Built-up fear from things that have gone wrong, leading to a general sense of anxiety and feeling overwhelmed, and worrying about everything.
- Built-up resentment and anger from injustices and offenses, large and small.
- Built-up self-judgment from all the things we think we’re doing wrong, failing at, et cetera.
- Built-up sadness from many losses, both large and small, so that the world and people around us can easily trigger sadness.
Releasing the Blockers
If all of the above represents blocks in our hearts, then wouldn’t it be freeing to be able to remove these blocks?- When the world triggers a conditioned block (anger, resentment, fear, sadness, hurt, anxiety, jealousy, grief, et cetera), notice that it’s there, and decide to release it.
- Sit still for a few minutes, and let yourself feel whatever you feel. Relax, and allow the feeling to emerge as fully as you can. Allow it to just be an experience of energy in the moment.
- Know that you’ll be OK. It’s just energy, and if you relax instead of resisting the energy, it will just pass through you. That said, only do it if the intensity is a 7 out of 10 or lower. You don’t need to work with a 10 out of 10 intensity unless you have a therapist working with you.
- After it passes, give yourself some gratitude and love. You have released some of your blockage.
How to Cultivate a State of Being Stoked
If you commit to practicing with the releasing practice above, you will be much more open-hearted toward life. You will naturally become more and more enthusiastic.- Try to find moments to appreciate the wonder of life. It could be out on a daily walk or a quiet moment in the morning or when you’re eating a blueberry. Set reminders so you can make this a regular practice.
- Find something to get excited about. Recently I bought myself a running watch and have not shut up about it for weeks. What have you been excited about lately? Let yourself get caught up.
- Get curious about people. What could you discover that’s interesting about the person in front of you? What makes them tick? What is the light beneath their shadow?
- When you’re taking on a work task, could you connect with why it matters to you? Could you find something meaningful and inspiring about it? If you do this regularly, you’ll find a new enthusiasm about whatever you take on.
- If you’re going to do a workout, instead of doing it because you should, could you find something fun about it?
- Let yourself approach things with a childlike sense of curiosity and wonder. Take a playful approach as often as you can.