The human mind can tap into some amazing tools, such as reason and logic. But it can also become infested with unfounded worries and worst-case scenarios that insist on clouding our minds.

We may justify these negative inner dialogues by telling ourselves that we’re preparing for the future or processing the past. And yet, even in their vast quantity, these thoughts never seem to deliver the solutions we seek.

Once we’ve had enough of this negative chatter, we may still struggle to stop it. Its habitual occurrence has worn deep grooves in our mind. It’s as if our mind now has a mind of its own, as it constantly rehashes our insecurities, concerns, and complaints over and over again—ad nauseam—whether we want it to or not.

So why does our brain, which has so much potential for greatness, become so fixated on torturing us with distressing worries, arguments, and concerns?

Colier said it’s a type of addiction. Her observation comes from her work as a therapist for nearly 30 years—talking to hundreds of people—some of whom actually describe being hopelessly hooked on their negative thoughts, much like a drinker gets hooked on alcohol.

In the past few years, we’ve seen the addiction label expand beyond the traditional boundaries of drug abuse to things such as food, sex, and video games. Pushing the boundary even further into something as intangible and personal as thoughts may at first seem like a stretch. But how else would you describe the experience of being trapped in an indulgent and destructive habitual loop that completely evades control?

Colier said that one reason people have a hard time seeing thoughts as addictive is that our culture has so much reverence for thinking. We hold our ability to reason, analyze, and think things through in high regard.

But consider the possibility that some thoughts can be not a path to enlightenment, but a means of escape. Our minds become so obsessed with preparing for the future or working out the past that we fritter away our precious present.

“We get wrapped up with what we will or won’t do. Or we go over the same things over and over. It’s because we don’t actually want to feel it,” Colier said. “It might look like we’re trying to get out of it in a healthy and productive way, but what we’re really doing is avoiding the moment just like when we use alcohol, shopping, or drugs.”

If thoughts can actually be addictive, they differ from other subjects of addiction in a substantial way: We may decide to abstain from drugs and alcohol in order to quit them. However, it would be a mistake to quit thinking completely.

In order to think in moderation, you have to first recognize the limits of the mind. While many situations require logic, reason, and thorough analysis, these are not always the right tools for the job.

“In matters that are really more heart matters, or body matters, where we try and do our pro and con list, and we try and think it through again and again, and there’s no stone we haven’t left unturned, then it’s the wrong tool,” Colier said.

The goal is to think with purpose—not just out of habit—but breaking this habit typically isn’t easy. In modern society in particular, it has become our predominant strategy for life. Colier observes that people have stopped trusting our other ways of knowing, such as intuition or gut feelings. As a result, we have come to expect everything to be scientifically verified in order to deem its worth.

Colier agrees that physical exercise is great for helping pull us out of our head for a while, but she warns that we may inadvertently be letting our mind infiltrate the experience. Apps or devices designed to report improvements in data such as heart rate and calories burned during a workout are certainly informative but also shift focus back to the mind.

“What we’re really trying to do is control what feels uncontrollable,” Colier said. “But we may never be able to understand it, or we may understand it and not feel any peace from understanding it.”

Another reason it’s difficult to rein in our runaway ruminations is because we see them as something precious and identify so closely with them. This incredibly intimate connection we have with our own insights is why we take it so hard when our opinions are questioned, belittled, or attacked. We take it very personally—because we see our thoughts as an extension of ourselves.

“We’ve been taught again and again that ‘if you don’t agree with my thoughts, then I’m somehow not okay, or I’m being denigrated,’” Colier said. “But we don’t need everyone to agree. Our thoughts are not universally true. They’re just thoughts. And we wear them more like a loose garment.”

Colier’s advice involves developing some distance from your thoughts by realizing that they aren’t actually you. The process is similar to some forms of meditation. It begins by becoming mindful of your thought process and recognizing thoughts for what they are—just ideas and suggestions that you can choose to accept or reject as they float through your brain. Instead of automatically following every troubling notion that creeps in, cultivating a sense of distance from your thoughts can make it easier to let them go.

Of course, some thoughts are easier to release than others. The more complex and emotionally charged the thought, the harder the exercise becomes. If, for example, a thought recalls how someone may have hurt or mistreated you, it isn’t so easy to ignore.

“It’s a process of first recognizing that we are trapped in this cycle of suffering. And then asking, ‘What is it that the mind is really trying to heal?’ Because so often it’s just this mistaken way of trying to feel better. And then recognizing, from the wiser, more evolved self, that, ‘Sweetheart, this is not going to be the path,’” Colier said.

Of course, developing this sense of detachment and self-compassion takes practice and dedication. Especially if berating yourself has been your default setting for years, treating yourself with kindness can feel unnatural, and even dangerous. We fear we may no longer be productive if we aren’t constantly flogging ourselves.

“But what we find, though, is compassion unleashes this incredible productivity that comes from a different place,” Colier said. “We have to start taking baby steps to say: ‘What if I treated myself in this moment like I was someone I liked? What would it take?’ You probably wouldn’t say you’re a piece of nothing, and you never do anything good. I don’t think I'd motivate anyone that way. I would probably remind them of all the things they’ve done that have been positive.”

Many see their self-punishing inner dialogue as a way to motivate themselves, but Colier said she believes it’s a misguided strategy. She says shifting our intent to becoming friendlier and more encouraging with ourselves may actually prove to be much more productive because it leads us to a more peaceful and balanced place.

“It does take a leap of faith because we’ve been so heavily conditioned to say the only solution is more mind, more thoughts, and telling ourselves what we need to do. But our peace is in the surrender,” Colier said.